


Rosy Blue Lungs

by IneffableSerpent



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Gore, Coughing, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, M/M, Pining Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Pining Deceit Sanders, Post-Canon, Sexual Humor, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableSerpent/pseuds/IneffableSerpent
Summary: Remus coughed as a cluster of blue rose petals shot past his lips. His throat had itched and itched and was frankly becoming a nuisance. He collected the petals and stuffed them into the bucket next to his bed, summoned to contain all the other petals he had begun spilling out over the past days.Remus ran through memory lane and bit on his knuckles. The first petal came on the night he and Patton had.. Spent more time with each other.Could Patton have caused it?(And unbeknownst to him, he wasn’t the only Dark Side coughing up blue rose petals while thinking of Patton.)
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 20
Kudos: 85





	1. Rosy Blue Bonfire

It had been a few months since Remus’ debut. A few months after April 13th. The tension between the ‘Light’ Sides and the ‘Dark’ Sides had begun to disperse not too long ago. Remus and Deceit began showing up for videos and discussions more often, and although their presences were never invited, the others didn’t react as strongly as they did before.

They’ve even begun initiating small talk, with Remus, of all people.

Remus thought there was nothing on this Earth that could shock him more than he could shock himself, but that was before the Light Sides’ infamous father figure approached him for what was basically cooking advice.

“Hi, Remus!” Patton called, and that was enough to make Remus choke on his own spit. “I don’t really know how to use knives properly, but I need them to chop up some veggies, would you mind helping me? I would ask the others, but Virgil doesn’t feel comfortable with knives, Roman would treat it like a sword, and Logan would end up lecturing me for hours on end. I mean, I still love them all, of course, but.. I heard you were an expert on sharp objects?”

And the way Patton fiddled with the sleeves of his cat hoodie, wide pleading eyes glued onto Remus- It was simply something to melt for. Remus wanted to beg Patton to summon a match and light him up into a ball of flames but opted to answer, 

“Oh, yes! I am especially talented at the act of knife penetration, maybe you’d prefer that instead? I know just a perfect place to penetrate you!”

Remus expected Patton to squeak and scurry away in fear, dousing the fire within the duke with ice cold water. But instead, a soft laugh escaped the other Side’s equally soft lips.

“Oh, you! Well, it’s a good thing I’m not scared of you anymore, so how about you teach me how to penetrate an apple? It would be very _slice_ of you!” Patton poked at Remus’ nose and grinned before leaning back into the heels of his feet, hands bent to his own hips.

The flames inside of Remus threatened to scorch his very soul as he nodded enthusiastically, following Patton into the Mind Palace kitchen.

\--

Remus stared at the bowl of soup in front of him. In it was chunks of chicken, corm, broccoli, and mushrooms, floating above the thick water. Clean cut. A day had passed since Remus’ attempt at a knife-cutting tutorial (emphasize on attempt, it was quite a disaster), and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“You made this? You didn’t summon it?” He said, tilting his head to one side. A finger poked at a slice of broccoli.

“Is it that hard to believe?” Patton pouted.

“I didn’t teach you how to cut cleanly yesterday, I taught you how to _stab_!”

“Yup!”

“How _the fuck_.”

“Hey!” Patton swatted at his face. “Language, mister! And you gotta give me more credit, Remus, I mostly needed help on adding pressure to the knife, since I was a _bit_ too scared to press it down- And you taught me exactly that! I think I have a good grip on the rest of the basics.”

Remus scooped a spoonful of the soup and tasted it. His eyes widened in delight, “Tastes better than semen!”

Patton pulled away with a feigned retch, “ _Remus_!”

He ruffled Patton’s hair. “What? I thought you said you weren’t scared of me anymore!”

“Oh, _Patton_ , how _normal_ it is to see you getting along with Remus,” said a voice behind them. Remus looked over Patton’s shoulder to see a familiar serpentine, face under a dark bowler hat and shoulders draped with a capelet.

“We’re fuckbuddies now!” Remus exclaimed.

“N-no, we’re not!” Patton gasped as he looked away with a red face. “B-but uh- Hi, Deceit! I made some soup, wanna try some?”

“Don’t start including _me_ into your shenanigans now.” Deceit sauntered past them, heading directly to the coffee machine with a yellow mug he snatched from a cabinet. “I’d like to keep our interactions at least somewhat professional.”

“Aw, but we’re beginning to act like a fa-”

“ _Yes_ , Patton, I would _love_ to listen to whatever you have to say,” Deceit interrupted before blowing on his newly-made coffee, a drink as bitter as his tone. Remus raised an eyebrow at his dark companion, who responded with a roll of his eyes. “I suppose this is where I take my leave. I _definitely_ didn’t make things awkward.”

And just as quick as he came, Deceit left.

Remus caught sight of the frown on Patton’s face. “You think he approved of us being fuckbuddies?”

Patton gasped once more and shoved at Remus’ chest lightly, turning his head away to hide a blooming smile.

“We’re not fuckbuddies, Remus!”

\--

Remus threw his legs onto his crooked desk and looked out his window. The full moon glistened upon his eyes and if he were a different Remus, he supposed he would have turned into a werewolf by then.

The bright round glow against the dark sky made his mind drift to a certain peppy Side, and he grinned. It was nice to have some welcomed company besides Deceit (although, that said, he wouldn’t trade Deceit for anything) and to have something to spark up a bonfire in him.

Remus sighed but stopped when he felt something lodged in his throat. He furrowed his eyebrows and carelessly reached into his mouth, fingers digging back to search for the intrusion. _He_ was to be the intrusive one, damn it!

He pulled his hand back out and a single blue rose petal laid on his open palm. Was this Roman pulling a prank on him? No, it would have been a red petal if it was. The rose was light blue, so perhaps a gift from Patton? In his _throat_? Unlikely.

Remus hummed before shrugging and flicking the petal onto his desk. The night was late and his muscles were sore. A good night’s rest was in order. And he tucked himself messily under his green blankets before he knew it.

\--

A couple of weeks has passed since then.

Remus coughed as a cluster of blue rose petals shot past his lips. His throat had itched and itched and was frankly becoming a nuisance. He collected the petals and stuffed them into the bucket next to his bed, summoned to contain all the other petals he had begun spilling out over the past days.

He didn’t think it was one of the other Sides; none of them were cruel enough to do such a thing to him. They wouldn’t make it hurt, that used to be his job. So, the petals must be.. A natural thing. Some sort of sickness. But what caused it?

Remus ran through memory lane and bit on his knuckles. The first petal came on the night he and Patton had.. Spent more time with each other.

Could Patton have caused it?

Why?

Remus decided against telling the others. His problems were his problems and he didn’t dare to show vulnerability to someone other than Deceit. And Deceit was far too preoccupied with his own tasks to deal with Remus having a genuine problem.

Remus choked as he felt more petals rise up and he quickly leaned over his special bucket.


	2. Rosy Blue Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton is gorgeous, Remus is gay, and Deceit is not okay.

Remus tilted his dark green mug sideways and a tarnished wave of torn blue roses spilled out, floating down into the rusty bucket next to his feet. The roses filled the container to its brim, all bloody and soaked with spit. 

Remus kicked the bucket under his desk, along with the rest of its kind, all in similar states. A single petal fell out, and Remus scowled at it as if it was taunting him. He summoned a new bucket at the foot of his bed before stomping out of his room, empty mug in hand.

A little more than a month had passed since the night Remus wondered about Patton's involvement in this whole ordeal, yet his questions hadn’t found their answers and the coughing only worsened. 

Remus made his way into the Mind Palace living room, and grinned as he caught view of (most of) the other Sides. 

He passed by the couch, where Virgil was straddling the armrest with his phone in hand and his headphones around his head, while Logan and Roman were pressing shoulder to shoulder with an open book between them. Remus paid them next to no mind. After all, he had someone else he wanted to meet. 

Remus’ eyebrows rose up as he heard soft humming from the kitchen, and then, “ _There! Now you see! Everybody goes wrong and we put in song_..”

He followed the voice and saw a back cladded in blue and gray, shuffling about the kitchen with delicate limbs and a bounce in each step. Remus walked in as silent as possible before throwing his arms over the other figure’s shoulders.

“Boo!” The duke exclaimed.

Patton yelped and struggled to keep the loaf of buttered bread in his hand from falling. Remus quickly took it from him and chucked it onto the plate on the counter. Patton whirled around and squeezed Remus’ bicep with a pout, eyebrows knitted together. 

“You really gotta stop doing that, Dukey!” said Patton.

“Oh-ho-ho?” Remus pinched Patton’s cheek. “But you look so utterly delectable when you’re surprised!”

Patton let go of Remus and leaned against the counter. He shook his head with a giggle, brown hair fluttering onto the tops of his glasses. The sweet Side stood right where the sun could shine in from the windows, and its rays touched his freckled skin and smiling eyes. Remus’ tongue darted out between his lips at the sight. 

“Okay, but you know what else is delectable?” Patton turned around to arrange something on the counter (related to the previously seen plate, Remus supposed) before stepping aside, revealing a stack of six ham sandwiches. “Would you like to be the first to try them? I added more cheese and corn under the beef this time!”

Remus nodded enthusiastically and used his free hand (He didn’t dare risk setting down his mug) to roll a sandwich into a ball, stuffing it between his teeth. He chewed with his mouth wide open.

“Ish zhe ‘eef ho-man mee’ aye anyee chansh? Taishtes jush ash good!” Remus said around his food.

Patton looked away and scrunched his nose. “Finish eating before you talk, Remus..”

Remus swallowed. “I said, ‘Is the beef human meat by any chance? Tastes just as good!’”

Patton scrunched his nose even more, “Nope! Not in the slightest!”

\--

“Why- Uh- Thank you, Remus..” Roman sputtered as Remus threw him a sandwich. “This isn’t poisoned, isn’t it?”

“It definitely is, dear brother! With a poison so deadly, it could blow up your intestines into smithereens and-” Logan pushed Remus away by his face, rolling his eyes at him. 

“Just ignore him, Roman.” Logan settled back against Roman once he received his sandwich from Patton, and the couple continued their reading once more. 

Remus was on the precipice of snarking back when the back of his chest began to sting with the force of a thousand nails and his throat burned like a volcano’s lava. He backed away from the others and pressed his mug against his mouth. Remus fought to keep his shoulders still as he convulsed, and flowers forced their way out of his chapped lips. The iron taste of blood tainted his tongue, and tears threatened to slip down his cheeks. 

Remus pulled the mug away once he was sure no more petals would crawl out and rubbed his face with his other arm, wiping away crimson liquid and saliva from his lips. He looked back at the others to make sure they didn’t notice and huffed a breath of relief. Bless his magic mug to keep things soundproofed. 

Patton turned towards him and Remus froze. 

No.

No.

No, there is no way-

“Remus?” Patton called. 

“H-huh?”

“Can you accompany me to Dee’s room? The last sandwich is for him..” 

“Oh. Oh! Oh, to his _room_ , eh? Are we going to do _anything else_ in that slimy snake’s room?” Remus swung his mug to be against his back, away from Patton’s view. 

Patton’s face grew cherry red and he smiled sheepishly. “Of course not, silly! Now, come on, he must be hungry.”

The pair exited the Mind Palace living room and padded down the hall full of each Side’s bedroom. Remus’ and Deceit’s (and Virgil’s old room)

rooms were on the far end, quite a ways away from the Light Sides’ little area.

Patton cleared his throat. “Ya know why Deceit hasn’t been leaving his room lately?”

Remus shook his head. He wondered that too.

“I mean, I know he doesn’t like to be around us anyways, but at least he used to come around to get himself some coffee and for food.. You think he’s been summoning himself food? Oh, gosh, what if I’m just being annoying by bringing him food? What if I’m the reason he doesn’t wanna hang aro-” Patton’s eyes widened as Remus put his hand up.

“ _Fuckin’ Hell_ , you’re starting to sound like Nightmare On Emo Street!” He whined.

Patton frowned. “Hey, that’s my son you’re talking about, now!” 

They stopped in front of Deceit’s door. Yellow and adorned with patterns of two-headed snakes and glowing eyes. Patton knocked thrice against the wooden surface. A grunt sounded through and the door creaked open to reveal a scaly head, hat facing the wrong way on top of disheveled hair. 

“ _What_ ,” hissed Deceit. “On Earth are you two doing here?”

Patton’s lips quirked into a gentle smile. He brought the plate of a singular sandwich closer to Deceit. The serpentine gawked at it with parted lips. 

“For- For _me_?” Deceit whispered.

“Yup! We noticed that you haven’t been joining us to eat so we brought you lunch in case you needed it!” Patton answered.

Deceit cracked his door wider to gingerly take the plate with a gloved hand. His eyes were still agape. 

“I’m so not thankful in the _slightest_ ,” he said.

“No problem!” Patton laughed. “And- um- Please, consider spending time with us sometime? I-I know you said you wanted to keep our relationships professional but.. It’d be nice?”

Deceit flickered his gaze away. “You remembered me saying that?”

Patton nodded once.

Deceit breathed out slowly. He shut the door. Patton’s grin slipped away and he sighed. 

“Oh, well.” He rubbed the back of his neck and faced away from Remus. “I tried. I should get back to the others now, you wanna come too or..?”

Remus’ fingers gripped his mug tighter. It felt heavier with the flowers in it. He shook his head. Patton nodded once more before retracing their steps, then disappearing around a corner. 

Right as Remus stepped away from Deceit’s door, he noticed a single blue rose petal on the floor. He raised an eyebrow. Did it fall out of his mug? Remus picked it up and placed it with the rest. He needed to return to his room to dispose of the roses, since they were the one thing he couldn’t snap away into oblivion. 

Remus’ shoulders sagged as he trudged away.

\--

Remus’ eyes peeped awake as he heard a room door open and close. He huffed and rolled to his side, ready to fall back into deep sleep. 

Until he realized that the only room close enough to make a sound that loud was Deceit’s. And that meant Deceit finally left the confines of his own room after an eternity. Remus was out of his own room before he knew it, dressed in light green pajamas and bloody bunny slippers. 

Deceit’s dark figure disappeared down the hall and Remus followed. Down they went, into the living room, past the kitchen, out the back door. Into the Mind Palace backyard. 

Deceit stood at the center of the square field of grass and flowers while Remus closed the door behind him. The cloaked Side inhaled loudly before stilling.

“Oh, _whoever could be following me_ in the middle of the goddamn night?” Deceit spun around and glared at Remus, folding his arms over his chest.

“I just wanna know why you’re awake at the middle of the _fucking_ night,” said Remus.

“Ah, yes, _I’m so sorry_ , I didn’t realize that this was your business as well!” Deceit whisper-shouted.

Remus made his way to Deceit’s direct front. “You used to tell me all your plans.”

“All the ones that invo-” Deceit slapped a hand over his own mouth. “Leave- Leave, Remus- Go- Go away-” His body began shaking and his eyes screwed shut, and suddenly an onslaught of blue roses coated in crimson blood creeped between his gloved fingers, and then onto slippers of his own, then to the grass. Deceit doubled over and wheezed as the flowers continued, his arms snaking around his chest. 

Remus didn’t dare move. 

Deceit rasped when their eyes met again. “ _You weren’t supposed to fucking see that_.”

\--


	3. Rosy Blue Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus questions Deceit, Virgil questions Remus, and Remus questions Roman. Oh, and Patton is very affectionate.

Deceit shoved Remus into his dark room before shutting the door as quietly as he can, then pressing his own back against the cold surface. He yanked his gloves down from his fingers and tossed them onto his bed before pressing his palms against his eyes, forcing out a long breath.

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” he repeated. 

“I hate it when you hide things from me, Dee.” Remus leaned closer to the serpentine, trying to catch his eyes again. 

“Shut up, you _child_ ,” Deceit growled. “Us being friends doesn’t mean you get to have all my secrets. Especially- Especially not this one.”

“Why not this one? Why can’t we stick together like torture and murder?”

“Because it doesn’t concern you!”

Remus cackled. “As if you’re the only Side who has to deal with this shit! You think I don’t know how it feels to have those stupid flowers claw their way out of my throat like some sort of knived spider tearing up your insides? You think I don’t know how it feels to have my chest pushed so hard it feels like I’m being crushed by a monster bulldozer? My, my, Deceit! How ignorant of you.”

“W-what?” Deceit’s hand dropped to his Sides, mouth agape. “You? There’s no way- That can’t be.”

“But it can be! Say, what do you think caused these flowers?”

Deceit looked to his shelf and pulled out a book. It was thinner than most books but still had some girth to it. A vase of blood-covered flowers covered its sleek front. Remus cocked his head to a shoulder as Deceit opened the pages.

“I stole this from Logan’s room. I don’t know why he has it, but it’s about this _disease_ , the ‘Hanahaki’ disease. It’s caused by unrequited love and can only be cured by a kiss from the person you harbor you love to. If the disease remains uncured.. And that’s where a page is ripped out. 

Deceit narrowed his eyes at Remus. “It’s caused by _unrequited love, Remus _. Who do you even have that for?”__

__“Patton!”_ _

__Deceit dropped the book. “Pardon?”_ _

__“No, not _pardon_. Patton!”_ _

__“Yes, I’m aware, I heard _that_ right.” Deceit gripped Remus’ shoulders. “How?”_ _

__“Surely, you’ve noticed how much I spend time with him. Unless you’ve been practicing self-inflicted lobotomy, in which case you’ve forgotten all that.”_ _

__“The disease is caused by unrequited love. I- I thought he loves you back- I thought you two were in some sort of hidden relationship!”_ _

__“You really gotta stop being a know-it-all, Dee-dee.” Remus pinched Deceit’s nose to distract himself from the pressure gaining on his chest. His voice softened, “I don’t think he loves me anymore than he loves _you_.”_ _

__Deceit collapsed onto his bed. “This is too much to process.”_ _

__“H-” Remus pushed himself against a wall as he began convulsing. The same process over and over again. Pressure, itch, pain, and bittersweet relief as his mouth provided an exit for the flowers, blood as impromptu lubrication. He wheezed and clutched his neck, face contorting into a cringe; brows furrowed, eyes squeezed close, nose scrunched, lips quirked downwards._ _

__He panted. “I would say sorry for the mess but is this any different from the mess I usually make?”_ _

__Deceit stared horrified. “I already knew you weren’t lying, I didn’t need proof of it..”_ _

__Remus shrugged. “Can’t stop it when it _comes_.”_ _

__“Just.. Just kick them into a corner.. I have so much energy left to care.” Deceit limped to the center of his yellow bed, chucked off his hat and cloak, and threw an arm over his scaled face. “You’re welcome to leave.”_ _

__Remus shrugged once more before doing as Deceit told. He noticed a mountain of bloody blue roses in the corner nearest to him and raised his eyebrows. They looked different from his. Deceit’s flowers were- Exactly that, _flowers_ ; full roses in full bloom. Unlike Remus’ flowers, which were mere clusters of broken petals. _ _

__Judging from how he started with one petal, to three, to five, to an entire group- Deceit has had the disease longer. Remus’ heart sank to his stomach before he left the room to go back to his own._ _

__\--_ _

__Once again, Remus found himself in front of the serpentine’s door. This time with two mugs in his hands, his usual green, along with a new dark yellow one with a snake-shaped handle. He used his booted toe to knock on the door. The looming shadow between soft light- only seen through the smallest of cracks under the wooden blockage -shifted._ _

__Deceit revealed himself the following second, leaning against the doorframe with a raised eyebrow._ _

__Remus handed him the yellow mug and hushedly explained its uses, wild eyes staring down the hall in case one of the others were around to witness the exchange. Deceit sighed and scratched his scales before nodding. With a silent understanding, the two directed themselves towards the Mindpalace common area._ _

__Deceit took a single step into the living room, and all eyes looked to him in an instant. He shifted his weight to one leg and held his mug tighter._ _

__Virgil leaned into the couch cushion he had rested on, and narrowed his eyes at the snake. Logan wasn’t present, and Roman was sitting on a beanbag with a donut. And-_ _

__“Deceit?” And there, standing dead center with bright eyes and a grin, was Patton. “You- You’re here!”_ _

__Deceit scoffed, “Am I now? I hadn’t noticed.”_ _

__Patton was quick to grab Deceit’s wrist and drag him into the kitchen, chirping about the array of donuts he had whipped up for breakfast. Remus took a few steps to follow, eyes getting a glimpse of Patton standing quite close to Deceit, before a hand fell upon the duke’s shoulder._ _

__“What’s going on with you two?” Said the hand’s owner, Virgil._ _

__“A scheme to seduce Patton into an orgy! Isn’t that wonderful, emo?” Remus teased._ _

__Virgil groaned. “I’m serious. What’s going on? You think I haven’t noticed your really weird mugs? What’s up with that, dude?”_ _

__“We’re _best friends_ , Virgil! You think best friends don’t have matching mugs?”_ _

__“Uh huh, sure. Look, whatever it is you two are hiding.. Think about it. Properly. Maybe, just maybe, if it’s..” Virgil huffed. “If it’s important, you should tell somebody. I don’t care who, just _tell somebody_.”_ _

__Remus pulled away. “That’s not what I expected you to say. I thought you’d say something along the lines of-” Remus sagged his shoulders and deepened his voice, “ _If you two are coming up with some evil shit, know that I’ll be watching you in case you hurt anybody_.”_ _

__Virgil rolled his eyes. “Wow, has Deceit taught you how to do impressions? Whatever. Just.. Remember what I _actually_ said. Also, Logan is missing a book, you know anything about it?”_ _

__Remus blinked. “Yup! I ate it.”_ _

__Virgil shook his head before leaving Remus alone._ _

__Remus shuffled towards the rectangular gap leading into the kitchen, hand gripping the edge, head peeking over a little. He held his breath._ _

__Deceit stood stiffly, lips parted, eyes agape and staring down a smudge of Crofters jam on the tip of his blushing nose. Patton was right in front of him, the same jam coating the tip of his finger, his tongue poking out the corner of his lips._ _

__The sweet Side giggled, his voice as airy as the sounds of rainbow bubbles popping. “Aw, c’mon, Dee! It’s just jam, you don’t hafta look so stunned!”_ _

__Remus zoned in on Patton licking the purple jelly from his hands. He noticed Deceit watched as well._ _

__Deceit wiped his nose with his free hand and heaved out an exhale. The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly before feigning into a small frown. The corners of his eyes crinkled._ _

__“I have class, Patton,” said he. “Messing around in the kitchen isn’t classy.”_ _

__Patton poked the other’s cheek. “Aw, loosen up, you silly noodle! Seriously though, you want some Crofters for your donut? I dunno what your preference is since you.. Since this is like the first time you joined us for breakfast.”_ _

__Deceit pursed his lips. “What are you having?”_ _

__“Sugar and rainbow sprinkles! Don’t get me wrong, I love Crofters, but it’s mostly Roman and Logan’s thing.”_ _

__“I- Um-” Deceit cleared his throat. “I _don’t_ want sugar and sprinkles. But, uh, chocolate sprinkles.”_ _

__“I’m guessing that means you _do_ want them..” Patton uttered as he placed down the jar of Crofters and picked up the sugar bag and the chocolate sprinkles container. “You can go wait with the others, if you’d like? Maybe they’d wanna talk to you..”_ _

__“ _Of course_ , I will.” Deceit leaned against a counter, keeping eye contact with Patton. He made no other motion to move. Except for facing away and bringing his empty mug to his lips. _ _

__Remus backed away. His heart weighed like a thousand erupting volcanoes and he almost thought he was about to start coughing. He felt a pair of eyes on him and glanced up to meet Virgil’s once again before the emo left the living room. It was just him and his brother then._ _

__Roman wiped his crumb-dusted fingers on the surface of his beanbag. “Spying on Deceit, are we?”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“By Odin’s beard, have I finally managed to surprise you? I’m impressed at myself!” Roman chuckled. “Really though, why are you spying on him? I know it’s a wonder he’s come joined us but didn’t you two have breakfasts together, like, all the time? At least prior to our, eh, blooming friendships?”_ _

__“He’s chatting it up with Pat-Pat?” Remus offered._ _

__“Woah, really? Now, _both_ the Dark Sides are cooling it with Padre?”_ _

__Remus moved his tongue to answer when they heard laughter erupting from the kitchen._ _

__“I ship it,” Roman mumbled._ _

__Remus’ heart sank even lower at that. “What! Why don’t you ship me and Patton? We laugh together too!”_ _

__“Oh Lord, ew, why would I ship my father figure with my brother? Plus, Deceit has that Mom-friend vibe, it fits with Patton’s Dad Instincts.”_ _

__Remus pouted and crossed his arms. “Whatever, I’m going to the Imagination.” He exited the living room and closed his eyes as he felt the rise of his disease, the spill into his mug. He ignored how his body felt and the rest. Just drift away from the pain._ _

__He opened his eyes to see both Logan and Virgil staring at him._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll, simple question about preference. Moceit or Intruality? (No, this won't affect the ending at all, I'm just curious.)


	4. Rosy Blue Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus does the next right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attack, description of the disease gets gorier.
> 
> Yes, I did, in fact, reference Frozen 2. You'll see why. Maybe.

It felt like he was staring at a dam. Waiting for the old crippling wood to chip off little by little before the weight of the water became too heavy for it to hold. To hear the snaps of its structure fill the eerie quiet. Remus frozen still, left to watch his final moments before the water drowns him.

And the dam finally broke.

“I knew there was something up between you two,” Virgil said. “You have it too, don’t you?”

“H-have what?” Remus flickered his gaze towards the door to the Imagination. Just a corridor away, perhaps he could make it.

Logan raised a book between his fingers, Remus hadn’t noticed it was there. It was the book Deceit showed him. 

“What’s that? O-oh! Was that the book you were asking about earlier, emo?” Remus hid his mug behind his mug. He glanced at the living room entryway and hoped to every god out there that nobody else was listening in. “What does that have to do with me?”

“I knew Deceit had stolen it from me. I’ve been keeping tabs on everything I have ever since he tampered with my calendar all those months ago,” said Logan. “And based on the fact he has been avoiding all of us, I- Or, we, me and Virgil, I should say, figured that he had.. The disease. And we thought he was the only one, until-”

“Until,” Virgil piped up. “I saw you two today with matching mugs. I knew you’ve been carrying your mug everywhere recently, but I thought that was just your usual stupid shit. But since Deceit did too, on the same day he finally showed up..”

“It wasn’t hard to put ‘two and two’ together,” Logan finished. 

Virgil shifted his weight onto one leg. “And now, we get a full view of you coughing into it. Which I have seen you do before, and I just.. Didn’t realize. Not until now, not until Deceit.”

“All of you have lost your marbles!” Remus exclaimed, subtly turning his body to face the Imagination’s door. He could make it. 

“Oh?” Logan stepped closer. Remus held his breath, his gaze bounced between the door and the two Sides in front of him. “Can I have a look at your mug then?”

He could make it.

Remus nodded. The moment Logan extended his hand, the duke used it to shove the logical Side backwards and onto Virgil, stumbling them both. Remus sprinted for the door to the Imagination the following second, and gone in the next.

Remus summoned a chair and lodged it between the doorknob and the floor before running down the dark passageway, only lit by green flames that burnt upon eternal torches. The Imagination was an unpredictable beast, but it’s appearance often swayed in favor of which of the Creativitwins entered first.

He trudged down the awaiting path with his half-full mug pressed against his chest. The further he went the blurrier his vision became. The tongues of fire contorting into dancing blobs of color, the damp stones turning into blank slates of wet. A cold droplet of substance rolled down Remus cheek, from his eyes to the corner of his scowling lip. 

They weren’t supposed to know. Nobody was.

Remus stole a single glance back to the barricaded door behind him and wondered what would happen if he ran back to beat them both up, lock them away in the depths of Thomas’ subconscious, where they could tell nobody else. Instead, he tossed his mug in its direction. Its clatter echoed loudly through the small space.

No, Patton wouldn’t like that. 

What if Patton found out?

Remus stopped. His chest grew tighter.

What if Patton _found out_?

He can’t breathe.

What if Patton hated him for it?

His vision swirls as he starts retching.

What if Patton wouldn’t want him anymore?

Full flowers fell out of him. Full. They were no longer mere clusters. A blue rose, wide and beautiful. And then more and more and more, followed by burning stomach acid and thick crimson blood. Tears rain down his gawking eyes. A pathetic whimper gasped out of him. 

_Patton_.

A broken scream tore out of him. Like a screeching robot thrown into a demolition derby, left to die alone and in pain. Sobs came next. The flowers didn’t stop, and he felt their buildup in his swollen throat. His lung felt full and heavy. His entire body shivered.

He fell against the cold floor, cheek smudged against the rocky surface, arms hugging himself tight. The flowers piled around his face. The torches above him swirled into smudged balls of light as his vision teetered between conscious and darkness. A shudder raked his entire form.

So empty. So cold. So numb. 

He was ready to fade away. 

Remus hadn't known a purpose in his life other than being intrusive before Patton. But after that fateful day in the kitchen, their first day truly together, something changed in him. Patton gave him his first rhyme, his first reason. 

After all, he was no longer his best friend's mere pawn. He was part of the FamILY. All because of Patton.

Where would he be without Patton?

Where would he be if Patton threw him away?

He carefully reached his hand out and graced a petal with trembling fingers before enveloping it whole in his palm. 

Soft, pale blue, crinkled yet still beautiful. The longer he gazed at it the more it molded into the shape of a blue polo, gray hoodie tied around shoulders, melancholy eyes behind shining glass. Remus hugged it to his chest before tucking his legs under him and pushing his shoulder against a wall. 

He moved into a crouch, eyes drooping and breaths shallow. He used his free hand to drag him up straight, legs as shaky as ever. Remus leaned against the wall as he took step after step, eyes zoned in on the way he came in. His boots crushed the remaining flowers.

Patton isn’t like that.

The door grew in size, as if it was coming towards him. His green mug was on its side in a corner. 

If Remus truly did know Patton for Patton was, he’d know Patton wouldn't kick someone he care about out after the reveal of their darkest secret. 

Remus bowed down to grab his mug and emptied it, and then placed the one flower in his hand in it. He stared at the door handle. What should he do then?

Maybe Patton wouldn’t feel the same way. 

The door swung open as Remus pried it open. He poked his head out and stepped out once he saw nobody was there. He needed to talk with Logan and Virgil. And Deceit. There was no point in hiding it.

Maybe Patton loved him a different way.

But that didn’t mean Remus wasn’t going to try his absolute fucking hardest to cure this goddamn disease. 

He padded down the Mind Palace halls and heard voices around the corner. Three of them. One monotone, another growling, and the final accented and hissful. Remus couldn’t focus on what they were saying, mind too busy trying not to spiral again.

He took a deep breath and approached the three, his presence met with wide eyes. His ears rang and his heartbeat quickened, but he didn’t stop his intakes and outtakes of air.

Remus plucked his single rose from the container in his hand and pinched it between his index and middle finger. 

“Is this what you were looking for, Logan?”

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter _was_ supposed to be posted yesterday, but I may or may not have forgotten due to playing Skyrim.. 
> 
> But anyways, here's another question: Fluff or angst?


End file.
